It's just a job right?

I will never forget the day I walked into Jans office at the Healthplex for a little visit, I always love our chats.  Her phone rang, and not wanting to end our visit I waited.. and being nosey I listened! ha  I heard her say something about seeing if she knew anyone that keeps children in their home.. I was like whoa wait I will!  That is when I met Brittany and JM.  I think it was fate that I was sitting in Jans office that day because had I not been, I may have never met the sweetest little boy that has become so precious to me and my family.

JM and Brittany came over one evening and we talked about this and that and now that I recall the conversation it was mentioned that they would want to eventually put their little boy in daycare... of course at that point I was like ok uh huh I understand.  Well that time has come and although I still understand I do not like it one bit!  Will he think I didn't want him anymore?  Will he forget who I am?  Will he have anyone there that will hold him and love him when he doesn't feel good the way I do?  Will anyone play baby bonk with him?  Will they sing patty cake and clap his hands really fast the way he likes it?  Will they dance with him?  Will they let him hold a utencil while he is eating even if they are feeding him because that is what he likes?  OMG will they make him feed himself?  Will they sing to him when it is his nap time like I do?  will they will they will they?  There are HUNDREDS of will they questions that could be asked.  Suddenly I am having flash backs of dropping my own babies off at daycare for the very first time and I find myself crying just as hard!  Good thing this is not paper or it would be soaked and I would be starting all over!

So this brings me to another question... how close is TOO close?  I mean this is my "job" right?  Well yeah in a sense it is my job in that I get paid to watch him and I am paid to keep him safe.  But to me it is sooo much more.  So have I just allowed myself to get TOO close?  How can you keep a baby from the age of 8 weeks old until the age of 15 months old 5 days a week 8-5:07 (yes Brittany is VERY accurate! :)  )  and NOT get close?  I mean have you met Ryder?  He is sweet, fun, full of personality, smart and just the perfect child!  Yes, I said perfect... because he is!  And if you say otherwise I will hunt you down! :-)  Well Ryder will be leaving my house at 5:07 on Jan. 14th for the last time (hang on have to cry again).  I am sure he will do great at daycare and will have loads of fun playing with all the other little boys and girls but in the meantime I am just going to miss him like crazy.   Actually me, Mr. Matt, Ashley and Brendan are all going to miss him, we love you Ryder!  PLEASE come see us anytime you want to play patty cake or read a book or dance and sing or play peek a boo.  You, your mom and dad will be welcome here ANYTIME.

Love forever and always,
Mrs. Connie